McCandless Project

McCandless Project

by Ana Sibberson

For the McCandless project I decided to not talk for the whole school day. For someone like me who is very talkative this would be hard. I also though that this experiment would have a big reaction. So on Monday I got to school where I met up with my friends in the cafeteria. My friends noticed immediately that I wasn't talking. It was really funny to see people reactions. Through this experiment I realized how much I actually talk. I would see a friend and with the first minute they would notice me not talking. Many people thought that I had lost my throat or that I was in a bet with someone. Funny enough only one person the whole day guessed that I was not speaking for the McCandless project. The experiment actually was really hard to do. One of the most frustrating things that people would say was, “Tell me why you're not talking.” I found it very frustrating because people where asking me to talk when I couldn’t. For me personally I was not shocked by people reactions. They reacted as I assumed, thought I would have thought more people would have guessed that it was part of the McCandless project. My reaction to not talking for the day was different then I assumed. I thought it would have been easy, however I was sadly mistaken. For me this was awful, I’m such a talkative person that I had to spend all of my energy trying not to talk. I was surprised to realize that people expected me to talk and that it was considered the norm. It was odd that while yes I was able and still am able to act however I want, people do judge and find it abnormal when you do something uncharacteristic. However while we are able to break away from the norm, we are not able to do it freely without having other judge us. 

Quote

"A Certain Darkness Is Needed To See The Stars" I chose this quote because I loved how true its was. This quote talks about something I believe in. It talks about how there has to be bad things in life for you to be able to enjoy the good. I try to live my life like this at all times. If I were able to live like this quote at all times in my life I feel that as a person I would be much more positive and enjoy life every second.

Dark Silence

Ana Sibberson

Mrs Belden

Honors English

October 7 2014

Dark Silence

I lay on my bed at night feeling my eyes sting with unshed tears. After a while I can't hold them in any longer. I've become increasingly more depressed ever since my sister died in a car crash this summer. My parents weren't awake to hear my almost silent sobs.  The house felt so empty now that Kimberly was gone. The summer breeze blew though my open window sending my window curtains flying around in a untamable dance. Even with the summer weather I felt ice cold. Throughout the night I lay there awake my body shaking with loneliness.

I wake up the next morning, my body numb and eyes sealed together, that it hurts to open them. I have to drag my dead body out of bed. I walk down then wooden stairs and into the living room. I see someone in the window reflection. My hands shake as I walk towards the window to get a better look. My eyes widen as I stare, my scream gets caught in my throat. The girls eyes resemble a stormy sky. Her bones seem to stick out in the most unnatural ways. She has such a pasty completion she doesn't even seem to be alive. I reach out to touch the girls hands. I jump backwards as I touch nothing but cold glass. I stumble as I race towards the couch. I try to get my head to wrap around what I saw but am unable. What keeps racing through my mind is how thin she was. I know for some people it's hard to believe anyone could forget to eat, however when all you feel is a cold and empty you forget to worry about food. The hunger that I use to feel is nonexistent. The darkness from my heart pulls me and and consumes me. I'm lost in a empty pit of dark silence. I grab the big blanket on the arm of the couch and wrapped around my shoulders, sheltering me from the harsh world. While I lay there I think of how my sister Kimberley would be so disappointed in me. She was always very strong willed and confident, while I was her shy insecure brainy younger sister. If Kimberley were here she'd want me to snap out of my depression and carry on with my life, However its hard to do that when my parents aren't helping.  I think back to how my mothers been treating me. she stopped talking to me ever since Kimberly died. I think I remind her to much of Kimberly. It's hard that when ever I walk into a room and it's just the two of us she say “Sorry May but I just forgot that I have to...” and she will make up a excuse and leaves the room. I'm glad my dad can still stand to be by me. The age difference wasn't big and Kimberly was only 2 years older. I remember that when we were younger, people would come up to us and we looked like we were twins. I would always follow Kimberly around trying to be just like her, I think I might have annoyed her. Because my mom didn't hang around with me much she never saw the signs of my depression. I secretly think my dad knew but was in denial that anything was going on. I was losing myself in a dark hole called depression.

It's been a two months. My mom still doesn't talk to me much but she's trying. I think my dad finally got out of the denial stage about me being depressed. He's watching me more carefully lately. I feel so nervous when I'm being watched. I look around my room hoping desperately for something to distract me of the depressing thoughts surrounding my head. There's books of all genres surrounding the room with worn out journals on the floors. On my night stand is a picture of the whole family when we went to Florida. It was taken last winter. It reminds me of happier times when the whole family was together. My dad calling my name from fine stairs pulls me out of my trance. I get of bed and go down the stairs. I see my dad sitting on the couch with his glasses off rubbing his eyes. 

"What's the matter?" I ask as I approach him. 

   "We need to talk sweets" I'm about to interrupt and ask about why when he keeps talking. "I've noticed, and it took much longer then it should, that your more secluded. You've lost the spark in your eyes. I can tell something's wrong. Your lost 20 pounds In the last 2 months!”

I stare wide eye, mouth agape. Strangle after he says that I can’t help but feel warmer inside already. 

Thoughts on Editing

My first draft of And Then There Where None was not bad in content, however the spelling through out the story wasn't the best. Another thing I had to change were the words that autocorrect changed. For me the most productive thing we did was when we had peer editing in class. I enjoyed this because you got to read others papers and see how they interpreted the story. This also allowed me to get a different view on how to write the essay. The other reason I enjoyed the peer editing was because they knew what was needed in the essay to get all the points and could easy understand the story. In the future I hope that we will be able to do other peer edits and I think It might be interesting for us to post a draft on the blog and have others comment on thing that should be improved on. This year I hope that I get better at varying my sentence’s and word choice.