Dark Silence

Ana Sibberson

Mrs Belden

Honors English

October 7 2014

Dark Silence

I lay on my bed at night feeling my eyes sting with unshed tears. After a while I can't hold them in any longer. I've become increasingly more depressed ever since my sister died in a car crash this summer. My parents weren't awake to hear my almost silent sobs.  The house felt so empty now that Kimberly was gone. The summer breeze blew though my open window sending my window curtains flying around in a untamable dance. Even with the summer weather I felt ice cold. Throughout the night I lay there awake my body shaking with loneliness.

I wake up the next morning, my body numb and eyes sealed together, that it hurts to open them. I have to drag my dead body out of bed. I walk down then wooden stairs and into the living room. I see someone in the window reflection. My hands shake as I walk towards the window to get a better look. My eyes widen as I stare, my scream gets caught in my throat. The girls eyes resemble a stormy sky. Her bones seem to stick out in the most unnatural ways. She has such a pasty completion she doesn't even seem to be alive. I reach out to touch the girls hands. I jump backwards as I touch nothing but cold glass. I stumble as I race towards the couch. I try to get my head to wrap around what I saw but am unable. What keeps racing through my mind is how thin she was. I know for some people it's hard to believe anyone could forget to eat, however when all you feel is a cold and empty you forget to worry about food. The hunger that I use to feel is nonexistent. The darkness from my heart pulls me and and consumes me. I'm lost in a empty pit of dark silence. I grab the big blanket on the arm of the couch and wrapped around my shoulders, sheltering me from the harsh world. While I lay there I think of how my sister Kimberley would be so disappointed in me. She was always very strong willed and confident, while I was her shy insecure brainy younger sister. If Kimberley were here she'd want me to snap out of my depression and carry on with my life, However its hard to do that when my parents aren't helping.  I think back to how my mothers been treating me. she stopped talking to me ever since Kimberly died. I think I remind her to much of Kimberly. It's hard that when ever I walk into a room and it's just the two of us she say “Sorry May but I just forgot that I have to...” and she will make up a excuse and leaves the room. I'm glad my dad can still stand to be by me. The age difference wasn't big and Kimberly was only 2 years older. I remember that when we were younger, people would come up to us and we looked like we were twins. I would always follow Kimberly around trying to be just like her, I think I might have annoyed her. Because my mom didn't hang around with me much she never saw the signs of my depression. I secretly think my dad knew but was in denial that anything was going on. I was losing myself in a dark hole called depression.

It's been a two months. My mom still doesn't talk to me much but she's trying. I think my dad finally got out of the denial stage about me being depressed. He's watching me more carefully lately. I feel so nervous when I'm being watched. I look around my room hoping desperately for something to distract me of the depressing thoughts surrounding my head. There's books of all genres surrounding the room with worn out journals on the floors. On my night stand is a picture of the whole family when we went to Florida. It was taken last winter. It reminds me of happier times when the whole family was together. My dad calling my name from fine stairs pulls me out of my trance. I get of bed and go down the stairs. I see my dad sitting on the couch with his glasses off rubbing his eyes. 

"What's the matter?" I ask as I approach him. 

   "We need to talk sweets" I'm about to interrupt and ask about why when he keeps talking. "I've noticed, and it took much longer then it should, that your more secluded. You've lost the spark in your eyes. I can tell something's wrong. Your lost 20 pounds In the last 2 months!”

I stare wide eye, mouth agape. Strangle after he says that I can’t help but feel warmer inside already.